7 Tips for Neutralizing the Tactics of a Bully Boss
There are some real horror stories about bully bosses who have continually abused their employees. Not many situations can be as depressing as having to go to a job each day expecting to be abused. Such abuse can change a person, not just their attitude toward work, but their whole perspective on life in general. Here are 7 tips to help neutralize the tactics of a bully boss, and assist you in coming out of the situation intact.
Always Behave Properly
One of the first mistakes many employees make is they stoop to the level of the bully boss. They may yell at the boss, launch insults or generally act in an unprofessional manner. This of course proves to be deadly for them. Remember they are the boss! If you are not fired for acting inappropriately, there will be negative consequences. For your own good don’t stoop, and always behave according to proper workplace etiquette, without exception.
Speak With a Respectful Tone
Keep in mind that although the boss may have a long history of being a bully, while you interact with them everyone is listening to your words and tone too. This may seem unfair, but it is a fact. If asked about a particular incident later, others will recollect not only the bully’s tone of voice and words, but yours as well. To protect your job and professional reputation always speak to the boss, bully or not, in a respectful tone.
Maintain a Positive Attitude
Dealing with a bully boss can be extremely frustrating, and this is why maintaining a positive attitude is so important. A positive attitude can keep you centered and focused. Think of your positive attitude as armor shielding you from the negativity which is being projected by the bully boss. At the beginning of the day find your positive mental and emotional center, remain there no matter what happens, and don’t let the bully get under your skin.
Take Personal Responsibility
In many situations the bully boss is justified for their concerns, goals may not have been reached, and quality of the job may be lacking. Unfortunately they don’t know how to handle resolution properly. Opposing a boss under these circumstances will only escalate the situation because they feel justified. To minimize any further escalation, take a look at the facts and take personal responsibility for any shortcomings, regardless how it is delivered.
Be Firm, Yet Non-aggressive
No employer has the right to treat its employees with in an abusive manner. This includes physical or verbal abuse, borderline or otherwise. Let the bully boss know in a respectful manner how inappropriately they are treating you. Avoid accepting any justification for their actions, and maintain a firm, yet non-aggressive stance that their behavior must change immediately. Being firm often is the tipping point for a bully to stop the abuse.
Remain Detached
One of the main reasons many employees are unable to deal with a boss who is a bully is they take it personally and get emotionally involved. In doing so, they lose their perspective and often act inappropriately themselves. They get personally drawn in to the conflict and are unable to refrain from responding aggressively. To prevent this from occurring to you remain emotionally detached, using your intelligence instead, and only doing what is right.
Keep a Log of Incidents
Under most circumstances it is only a matter of time before a bully boss is discovered, and must face the music of superiors. But in the meantime, if the employees have done everything necessary to promote change it might be time to go over the boss’s head and report them directly to the higher authority. Keeping a log of bullying and abusive incidents which include the dates, times, and actions will help expedite an inquiry or a resolution.
This post was contributed by Andrew G. Rosen, editor of the popular career advice blog Jobacle.com and the author of How to Quit Your Job Gracefully. Follow him on Twitter @jobacle.
Comments
Mona
Unfortunately, while you might think this is good advice, you obviously have not been the target of a bullying boss! I have read this article over carefully and done the majority of what you have wrote, but to no avail. One thing that is extremely hard to do, over the long run, is keep a positive attitude! I maintained my cool, I was respectful, I addressed any concerns they had and explained my work, I kept logs, I wrote memos to my boss and her superior to try and fix the situation and I even tried to go thru Human Resources, to no avail! Noone backed me up and she found a reason to get me laid off, after almost 4 years with this company, and now I have been looking for a job for six months! I have been in difficult situations before but this had to be the worst, especially when you try and do everything you can to fix negative situations and it just doesn’t work! This company is also pretty much hard on everyone, but it was heartbreaking for me to lose a job I was good at and have to start all over again, especially in this economy! I hope that my comments will not only help people who have found themselves in similar situations but show any bully bosses out there that they don’t need to resort to bullying tactics to get good workers to do their jobs! In fact, negativity decreases productivity and that is the real shame in today’s world!
number one
ny boss is also a bully and i keep good records that will hep me to recall what happened on that day. this will totally catch them off guard when having to answer to a higher power and tell a coworker you can trust that wont back into a corner like a scared dog.
lena
I worked at a hospital and was bully by a lesbian and then fired when I would not go out with her.
miggi
AWESOME ARTICLE!! very good tips, so far all my bosses have been great.
cynthia
my boss spoke to be in a loud and aggressive manner.i ask that he speak to me with respect as i have always respected him.3 weeks later i was fired by him .he accuse of misconduct and denied my unemployment.i appeal and won my case but did not get re-hire.the hr manager is his friend,now i find it impossible to get a job because no one want to hire someone that was fired.this company is an at will employer.there should be some law against this
Kelly Murphy
These 7 steps are right on! it is very very hard to do, but if you can do these things you might have a better chance of maintaining your own mental health. This kind of job unhappiness can overlap into your private life and impact all aspects of your well being. I made all the mistakes and paid the price. This is a great list of things to keep in mind.
John
Boy, are you incorrect about this advisement. If a Boss is a bully report it, and if the lame administration does nothing then leave and see an attorney. Sue them. They deserve nothing less. No one is entitled to bully. Certainly, do not submit, even if you need the job. Keep the pressure on. These types of people do not belong managing. When will HR learn. Even in Bad times people must be respected.
Cameron
How do you act to a bully boss when 7 people have left the department in 6 weeks?
Crystalball
Hi Andrew:
I can’t say any of your suggestions are wrong but these things don’t work when you are employed by a lunatic. My former boss abused, harassed, and destroyed anyone she could find. All the high level managers left, the supervisors followed close behind, and many employees retired long before they had planned just to get away from this she-devil. The most horrible story I have to share with your readers – because there really are bosses this bad – is a very sad one. A high level, well-educated, experienced manager was being truly tortured twenty-four hours a day by the director. The manager’s asthma was growing increasingly worse from the constant stress. The manager called me finally to ask about legal help to get the abuse to stop. That night, this manager had an asthma attack so bad, she had to be put on life support. Two days later, she died.
We had employees with every stress-related medical and psychological issue imaginable. I am suffering from PTSD and I have no idea how I’ll ever be able to work again. Before you think it’s easy to stop this kind of behavior at work, or that HR can step in and deal with it, I WAS the HR director and the board of people who oversaw this nightmare did not care. She is still driving employees to the brink of sanity.
The moral of this story is to take care of yourself and never depend on anyone to stop this type of abusive behavior. My dear friend died. Do you think any job is worth it?
Tina
All the above advice sounds good but in reality it does not work. I worked at a place where I had a bully boss and she fired people, lied and turned employees against employees and regardless of all the steps that were done by 90% of the office to try to get this to stop, she still has her job, Why? because Management backs her up.
There motto is “The manager is always right., Bull is all I have to say. This woman has made it miserable for just about everyone who works in the office unless you are one of her select few who she has on the ladder to success. I think this is garbage that these managers get away with this and I think there should be some kind of law for employees to protect themselves from these kind of people. All I can say is she is the spawn of Satan and is one wicked woman!!!!
Dawn Delaney
My daughter works in our local hospital and her supervisor has been reported for sexual harassment,and racial and homosexual slurs. Other supervisors were notified about this behavior and the employees were told that is so and so just being himself. The employees then went to the Human Resources department and reported him. They were told that the hospital does not put up with this kind of behavior and they took statements from about five employees who were victims of this supervisor”s behavior. They were told the matter would be looked into. About two weeks later they were told the matter was dropped and nothing was going to be done to the supervisor. My daughter was appalled and went to speak to the HR Vice President. He told her it was true. She told him that she was not happy and fearful of working with someone like this. She was told they are only words and words can’t hurt you only if you let them. The supervisor found out the names of the employees who turned him in and has stepped up his harassment of my daughter. She has been looking for another job but with the job market the way it is it doesn’t look promising. The hospital has also cut her hours. Here are some of the things the supervisor has done and said in the work place:
He has taken a carrot and poked it in someones bottom .
He has grabbed both men and women and kissed them against their will.
He goes around saying Black , Black,Black and Gay,Gay Gay because he is prejudiced and a homophobic.
How can he get a way with this kind of behavior?
Al
Thanks for this article. Makes sense, professionally.
Bertha
Abuse not only takes form in physical or verbal incidents, it can also occur on a mental level. A employer may take you for granted and not deem it necessary to follow through on his word, keep appointments, or give you that raise or promotion that you and your employer both know is over due. It is the employees responsibility to take corrective action and in a respectful manner inform the employer of their indecisiveness and require an explanation. Most times the employee will patiently wait, at times, for years for the employer to derive at a resolution. In my case, I was forced to make a business decission for both of us and resign. A couple of months later I was called to return to my station and assist the company in regaining compliance in regulated issues. Although, resigning may not be the answer, it definately was a wake-up call for my employer. Unfortunately, my employer did not gain any personal growth from this situation but I now know that I am worth a lot more as an employee than what he gives me credit for. I have moved on to other endeavors knowing that I was the bigger person for working with integrity and assisting my previous employer achive goals that would not have been completed without my personal assitance. We all have options, it us up to us to decide when to seek other opportunities.
Kelly
I so sympathize with everyones story here. I too was the victim of my bosses horrible mental abuse. I tried reporting it, but to no avail. Then one day I inquired about 2 hours of overtime that was due to myself and my whole team. 2 lousey hours. She told me that I should “flex” them from another day (in orherwords, leave 2 hours early on Friday and get paid for those 2 hours instead of the 2 hours of overtime at time and a half.) when I quoted California DOL laws to her regarding overtime, she changed her tone (and not for the better) she “THANKED” me for reminding her of California state laws and then proceded to chastise me for the log book. CA state law clearly states that any time worked after 8 hours is overtime and must be paid. She did this to us all the time. She sexually harrassed us by talking about what her and her boyfriend do in bed…I could go on and on. Then one day out of the blue (2 days after the overtime discussion, she shows up at our office and fires me and another employee over the same thing. Went so far as to have us escorted out by police which was ridiculous (just to show off her power over us I suppose.) I have over 3000 emails that prove everything I say even more and I haven’t found ANY lawyer who will take the case. I want to hit her in the legal stomach – so to speak – but, again, no one will help.
Thanks for reading and if anyone knows s good lawyer, let know at
ntrinsicinfluence@yahoo.com
Kelly Morris
Eduardo Williams
This is an excellent strategy to use in such a job situation. I once found myself in this situation and remained in it for 11 months. Eleven other employees who didn’t have such a strategy walked out during the height of out tight economy with hardly any opportunity to find other jobs. I found another job and extricated myself on a Friday with the 2 week notice, to it on the Monday. But I used each of the items described above in the strategy of handling the bully boss.
john dansbie
Sounds good,but if they want you out they will find a way and get all the paperwork on you. I used to work for good company or I said at the time,but Jake “the snake” at CVS in Il.,found some small loop hole and I was gone. Nevermind the store looked good and all company standards were met.
Becky
Great article, tried all your ideas. My advice is try this route first. If it doesn’t work go to the EEOC and file a report or go get a free consultation with a lawyer and see if you can have them write a letter for you (for a fee) to the company.
felice w.
I had a job that initially subjected me to a bullying boss. My hair would stand on end when she came around. She literally CAUSEd problems with production(photography), and kept my mouth shut and tried to let it role off me. I see this behavior as their own insecurity, which in my case was due to the fact that this manager had no photo skills at all and needed to establish her authority in front of others. But knowing that someday a recommendation will be needed to advance, you must take it without complaint. Eventually she moved to another dept. (which I see as the company’s recognition that she was lousy at her job), and my job became the one I always imagined. Bottom line, if you maintain your composure, it exposes them as the jerks they really are.
Elaine
I like Tina’s comment. You go girl I know what you are going thru. Beleive me I know. If you are in this type situation more than likely it won’t work because mangerment supports mangerment.If one goes down they all go. They are family.I work where all are bullies.
J
I agree with Mona, only I lost my job after 33 years with the company.
Kay
I had a bully boss. I worked for him for 9 years and then attended his funeral — Just to make sure it was him in the box.
Steffie
I did all these things! I even tried bringing in another manager for another store, she still didnt change. I call my first dis. manager and she never called me back. I went to my second dis. manager and he said we needed to work this all out. I tried being nice and getting into my zing, so to speak, but nothing worked. I even tried a formal investgation into the matter but, nothing happened. I wasnt the only one she bullied. Everyone in my store was being bullied. But, because jobs are hard to find no one wanted to stand up. Instead, we would just complain about it. I ended up leaving this job, I was denied my unemployment.
So what now?
Lori Jean
This article was useless and misinformed. I’ve worked for a bully boss and it didn’t matter how respectful I was, he just got worse and worse. The only answer to being bullied is (a) alert Human Resources, (b) call EEOC and/or an employment attorney and investigate your rights, and (c) look for employment elsewhere. Life is too short to work for dysfunctional people.
Michelle
I was bullied by my boss who would yell at me or even pick on me and one other coworker if it wasn’t my week to get it it was hers. I have never been in such a horrible work environment and would go home from work in a bad mood and stressed out. At first I would take it but I couldn’t take it anymore and finally just gave in and quite when I found out my mother was close to death. My boss new about what was going on with my mother and still would carry out her nasty additude upto the last day I was there. I figured I was already wrote up for it and was not ever going to get any were in that company so I resigned to relieve the stress I was under from it and take care of my mom!!!!! And that woman didn’t care one bit!!! I may not have a job now or my mom but I feel so much better not to go to that horrible job ever again!!!!
Linda
Good article, but didn’t work for me. I work in the HR field n have 3 bosses that stick together like super glue. No matter what it is, the DSP pee-on, is always wrong, or there is a rhymn or reason for the house lead to target me and once in a while, one other DSP. The lead even tried to get a VA put on me, with a huge bald faced lie. In my line of work, a VA off of the kind of lie she made up, would of definitely got me fired and a high possiblity of a feloney charge. I was able to clear myself with progress notes and alibi’s. Although that VA investigation notice is still in my employment file, supposedly unfounded. It’s still a mark against me, and then afterwards, the 2 bosses higher than the house lead, decided to call in my coworkers and ask them if they were intimidated by me or too scared of me, to make complaints against me, because the house lead said everyone was. All but one, of my coworkers were angry and
stood up for me and the one that didn’t, got chewed out by my coworkers for lieing. Nothing ever happened to the house lead for trying to damage my job and personal life with her lie and she continues to retaliate, harrass and throw the screws to me. I am now working my way up the chain of command, knowing full well the end result is going to be, me losing my job.
Tink
Here is one for all the bullies and women out there this happened to me a little time back but reading this made me want to tell you all this, Well I was with a big company here and it was retail and my boss used to bully only the good workers and never the lazy one’s but I later became pregnant and the boss would be rude to me and I would argue with him well time went by and now 8months along this boss expected me to lift 60-80 pound boxes but in the way he had worded it was ( I don’t give a f*ck if you are pregnant you and these yahoos just get the sh*t done or I will fire all of you) Well I did chain of command and got fired.
sami
I had a boss who would say one thing then say she never said it. Would tell you to set up meetings and either not respond to you or make you constantly change it so you never knew what you were expected to do. She said she didn’t want you going to her because she had more important thing to do. So we comunicated via email or by putting things in each others mailboxes but she had an “open door ” policy. No matter what you did it was wrong and if you did what she said to do the next time it was wrong. Needless to say I no longer work there after 5 years. My 15+ years experience wasn’t good enough-she’d rater have someone with no experience.
Tony Lantz
I can totally relate to all these testimonials. I am still working for the same hateful bullying boss. She has made my work and personal life a living hell. In todays economy it is a nighmare to land another job thus we are at the mercy of the abusive boss. I have complained to my higher ups nothing gets done. my coworkers (depending on who they are) are in tears because even with our complaints to our superiors we are STILL harrassed and no laws these days do ANY good to save us all. I am and the other victims work our butts off and still here we are living the American hell…. granted I am greatful to have a job but give your all and having to be treated like dirt…. I will stop whining now!!
pieface
These things want work with an Office Manager that has an attitude that states ” I always win”. One that is load and abnoxious, talks over you and always butts in letting you know what, without letting you justify your actions.
Andy
I have read all your comments, and completely empathize because I was also hated and treated badly by my boss. After going over her head to receive a position she had wanted for a new 21 yr old boy she would flirt with, her hatred of me was obvious to everyone. HR did nothing, and she lied, and set me up to be laid off. But as I was being told I was being let go, a voice inside my head said “don’t worry this is suppose to happen” I instantly felt happy, and knew, there was a reason for it. I have always looked for the bright side, and I know its hard to do, and that its irritating to hear happy people when your not, but i really believe it, and I have been so much better after leaving that hell. Believe that there’s a way, and a way will be made. Good Luck to all of you, and remember Karma’s a Bitch
Kim
I am very familiar with bully bosses, I don’t understand why these people are able to treat employers the way that they do and be able to get away with, I complained to the union rep at the company that I worked for several times, at the end of the day I was laid off, and given a severance paycheck! That’s what complaining will do for you.
Mona
WOW!!! When this article first appeared and I wrote the first comment, I never expected to see so many horror stories! I feel for everyone that has to go through this mistreatment and I did hear they are trying to pass a law making bullying illegal. One can only hope that if they do pass this law it will be effective! Andrew, I do wish that the suggestions in your article worked, but as you can read from our testimonials (23 negative and only 5 with some positive feedback) they really do not! Everyone is so scared in the work force of losing their jobs and all we want to do is do a good job for whatever company we work for! And my sympathies go out to crystalball for her co-worker’s ultimate sacrifice for a job. Noone should have to lose their life being under such stress in a job! Keep up the good fight all and let us hope when the economy gets better, we can all secure good jobs with decent bosses!
Al
Most of the comments here are great. The article is rubbish, simply more of the one down American worker posture.
I have been both a manager and an employee.
No rational manager bullies. Some employees like some owners and managers are worthless rotters and need to be so told.
Jennifer
Your advice is wonderful if you live in LALA Land. However, The reality of this is completely different. Lets face it ALL employers know the economy still sucks, so pretty much every HR or upper level Manager just dont care or are just afraid to make waves(so to speak)simply put EVERYONE is now replaceable. I myself have to deal with a racist she- devil and have done ALL OF THOSE STEPS you spoke of, I went to HR with all my logs, I’ve even asked for a transfer. In return for using the “open door” policies my hours are now cut,SO I’M LOOKING FOR OTHER EMPLOYMENT.
Kathy
I too lost my “dream job” due to a bullying boss. I used every tactic the article listed. Only to be fired anyway, I too have been searching for a new job since October, I am getting my house foreclosed on, losing my car and my life all due to a bad boss. Being fired is detrimental in the job search. Only God can help me now.
Anne
Sadly I am another casualty of bosses who bully. I indeed took all the necessary steps listed in the article with the exception of going to the state for harassment or to human resources. Those who took their complaints over the head of their immediate boss were fired. I too would experience sever asthma attacks due to the hostile environment and continual bullying by my direct supervisor. From my experience even if you stay positive, speak with respect, log your incidents and stay detached to protect yourself you can become the victim of the bully’s vindictive retaliation because you show your own strengths and refuse the behavior, something the bully lacks. For me it became a lose/lose situation. The asthma stopped once they fired me, but the depression of being unemployed for the first time in 30 years is equally bad. Living in an at will state produces very few avenues for legal advice as 90% of the attorney’s won’t touch these types of cases. Me, I make environment my number one concern when looking for work now.
Beth
The whole department that I worked for is hihgly dysfunctional. The leader is in mental health and suppose to be an advocate for civil rights. One day i realize he just called me an insult on the phone. Excues me please. He will not repeatt the slur.
But I quickly find coworkers repeating what my boss has said.
And we have this group message area and he allowed statf to abuse each other on it. Name calling and other b/s.
He was a bully by allowing infighting with his staff.
What a sick jerk. Should not be in human resources
amber dawes
Are you seriously supposed to play role model while your boss plays thug? It’s not gonna go well unless you have real dirt on your boss. Bide your time and get out. ANd know that you are dealing with a Psychopath. It’s not personal and has nothing to do with your performance. You are not their first and you won’t be their last. Unless, of course, you play dirty, too.
http://kissingup.wordpress.com/2011/10/03/fired-wrongly/
A. Rose
These tips are very good. While not always the solution to such behavior, it empowers the person to take a measure of control, the most important being: self-control. As much as it is possible to de-personalize the situation, doing so will show a level of professionalism that contrasts with the bullying boss. Unfortunately, this type of behavior is common and often goes unchallenged as people are fearful of losing their jobs. Documentation is key, however over-reliance on email to resolve personal conflict can often exacerbate the problem. A mentor (confidential) that carries some level of authority in the company can help. Humor (appropriate) can also diffuse tense situations. For the many on this thread of comments that have suffered such abuse, it is sometimes the best solution to find another boss, even if with another company,
NO WAY
Dawn Delaney: Sorry, I don’t believe you. That type of blatant sexual harassment, in today’s workplace & against so many employees? (and there are numerous documented cases?) I don’t believe it. That’s begging for multiple, justified, multimillion dollar lawsuits! No company is going to allow that type of behavior. Not if they want to stay in business.
YouGet Why YouDeserve
It’s your own fault. ALL of you. Whining bunch of cry babies. I have no sympathy what-so-ever & I’ll tell ya why. Many European countries (especially Scandinavia) have union memberships of like 60%+ of the workforce. Here in the USA it’s 10% & dropping. Instead of banding together (power in numbers) you believe propaganda, bash unions & worry only about yourselves individually. “As long as I keep my job, @#$% the other guy”. That’s all well & fine, until YOU are “the other guy”. People have the power to change not only the workplace, but many things in this country. Yet out laziness or non-concern, or for whatever reason, you chose to do nothing. In the end, you have only yourselves to blame, so stop crying about it. You made your bed, now sleep in it.
Open Fist
I had a series of bad bosses back to back. While maintaining self-control and documenting when needed, the better I acted, the worse they acted. So, what I did was allow them to use me, and I them. The more work they gave me turned into more skills for me to put on my resume. I treated it like a paid internship. BUT—I got too eager once and they caught on. So, that last ultimate skill I needed, I did not get. But, after I quit the worse job, I ended up in another horrid job, but at higher pay. I actually got fired from that one due to a psycho client-boss, but, psycho client-boss’s job gave me a security clearance. That led to a job that paid more money. Three good bosses later and a better company now. I make 150% of what I made when I was being run ragged, and I have a new house. It was also a good thing I did quit because the doctor was able to catch, treat and reverse an illness that was probably brought on by the torture years, so I’m in much better health, slimmer since the torture years, etc. Turning the other cheek can work, BUT, you also have to pray on it and follow whatever lead the spirit gives you, even if it sounds crazy. It was the spirit that told me to get as much experience as I can BEFORE I quit.
JL
I too have been the subject of not only a bully boss, but also a office manager that was determined to get rid of me from her first day (& suceeded). We didn’t have HR as it was a private office and the boss if your answer wasn’t liked or you weren’t able to do something would throw a temper tantrum and remind you of all he’d done for you regardless of the fact that most of those things were also for his/the company’s benefit. At one point, I had picked up another job to work in cinjunction w/this one because he couldn’t give me the hours I needed at the time and when that fell through-even though I hadn’t quit-he put me on propation in order to have my hours back because I’d put him in “2nd” place. Anyone who was up front w/the fact that they were looking for another job was disciplined and those who were sneaky recieved raises. When the new OM started and decided she didn’t want me there, my life was made a living hell up to and including making me change my work hours that had been agreed upon prior to her, to my and my job detriment (quality of work time went down). When it was apparant that making my life a living hell (I too have asthma & was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe) wasn’t working, I starting getting more and more write ups and then was put on probation and told that I hadn’t improved at all. Yet my work was being done despite my job description and how things were supposed to be handles were being changed everyother week. Another employee went to the boss and expressed concerns about the OM and was shut down. Unfortunetly, I was fired before I could find a job that would work for me, but she got out before the same fate befell her. (thankfully) I have been looking for a job for almost 3 months and have not applied for unemployment because (a) I was fired and (b) I know that they will fight me tooth and nail to prevent me from getting it and is it REALLY worth all that aggrevation??? (again) I have proof that I was doing my job, but they have managed to cover their butts in the way that they got rid of me. It’s amazing how ones file can go from small to probably an inch or more thick in less than a year. I have NEVER had a boss disreguard my work ethic so badly or accuse me of not doing said job.
So much for not rambling :-) I sincerely hope that others have better luck with their trials.
Cyrus
I’m not saying this advice is wrong per se, but I can say that it did not work for me. Sometimes the boss just has a personal vendetta against you, and there is nothing you can do about it…period. I worked in a hospital and was harassed by my director. I remember earlier in my employment there, she sort of offered me a chance to snitch for her, which I refuse to do–not outright, but, when she asked questions about others, I just said that I didn’t know anything. I am someone who just wants to go to work and do my job and not have extra drama or hassle. If I have an issue with someone, I try to take the time to gently approach that person, so he/she and me can come to a resolution ourselves.
What it finally came down to is that I was doing things to prepare for my wedding later in the year, and I had to ask for days off. I kept getting upset that as-needed workers kept getting scheduled to work on shifts that I could work (against hospital policy) or having my hours cut when my job description grants me at least 36 hours per week, all of this forcing me to use my PTO (Paid Time Off) which I had not requested. I tried to be very polite about the issue at first, but it continued to happen. As time went on, I admit I did become more aggressive due to my frustration. I am not a difficult person. The same sort of thing had happened to me the previous year, and I said nothing because it was not a big deal to me at the time. The following year, during the course of planning for my wedding, was different, and I explained that to them before the year even started. Grant it, I brought some of it on myself by demanding the things that they guaranteed me when I first started. Even if I were still working there this year, I would probably let it go again. My director’s tactic was to dig through all of my work to find where I forgot to dot every I and cross every T, doing so to break my will so I will back off like a good boy. I was not the only one who was targeted like this, I was just the only one to continue after I started becoming a target because my situation had not changed. She even went so far as to tell me–and I’m paraphrasing here–”you are under a microscope. I am targeting you. I want to push you to resign. I don’t have any grounds to terminate you right now, but if you don’t resign, I’m looking for and will eventually find a reason to fire you.” No worker is perfect, and, if you were to target any worker with the same sort of prejudice, you will find what you are looking for. I knew she was doing this for over a year, and she made no bones about it letting me know that she was doing it, so the only conclusion that I can draw is that I must have been pretty damn good at my job if it took her that long to find something to finally fire me over when she was targeting me with extreme prejudice. I worked as a respiratory therapist in the hospital, and there are around a billion things I have to document and quickly in the course of a 12-hour shift, so there are plenty of chances for me to make mistakes, and she had the assistant director comb though all of my paperwork after every one of my shifts. I had to be really good for it to have taken that long.
Just to give you perspective on the type of woman she is, she tries to put on this facade as if she’s a good wholesome “Christian” woman just as sweet as can be, but earnestly she is an underhanded manipulative bitch. I prefer, if someone is mean, to just go ahead and be mean instead of disguising yourself as an angel. It’s not the official story, but it is generally believed that she cut her way into the position that she was in by getting it away from the previous director, who had, after “retiring” of her on accord, came back to work as a staff member. Prior to that she was sort a co-assistant director along with the current assistant director then she got promoted when the previous director “retired.” In general, all of the staff members who were there before me, say that the previous director was better and that they wished that the other assistant director had been promoted instead of her. When she took over another branch’s respiratory department within the same hospital network, the director there quit along with half of the staff because they did not want to work for her. Also, we had other new employees who worked there after graduation because no other hospital had job openings, but, after finding another job,immediately left. I myself had been actively seeking another job the entire time I was there. Finally, after being fired (which was over a mere technicality that did absolutely no harm whatsoever and I knew it wouldn’t and which the physician had ordered me to do but gave her the excuse she needed) I got another job in a long-term acute care setting. This facility was on a floor of the hospital I had previously worked in because they rent space, she took it upon herself to call up to my boss and run me down giving her unsolicited advice. When ever, I run into her at the cafeteria she looks as if she’s surprised that I’m still there as if she was sure her comments would have gotten me fired already. Now, I have heard through the grapevine that my current employer is policing me in a similar way only they’re actually trying to keep it a secret. I feel that she has also hurt my chances of gaining employment at any hospital in any surrounding area because all the directors know one another, and, when they see where I worked, they just call her even though, on my application, I provide the number of a former team leader of mine who actually did supervise me. I keep at it hoping something good will come from all of this, but it’s hard.
Up until this point, I have never truly hated anyone, only strongly disliked, but I can honestly say that I HATE her, truly HATE her. It was one thing to target me in such a way when I was her employee, but, as if that wasn’t enough, to go out of her way to ruin me every where I else I try to go as well.
One day, she is going to do this to the wrong person.